Symptoms…Where The Wild Things Are.

Symptoms…Where The Wild Things Are.

Maybe I just haven’t learned the lessons deeply enough, or perhaps it’s time to learn some new ones.  I am fighting tooth and nail against all of it.  “Let the wild rumpus start!”

The past month has brought out a number of experiences that are uncomfortable in their familiarity (fatigue, brain fog, pain and stiffness).  The frequency of these reminders has my identity flexing all it’s muscles…looks something like “roaring its terrible roars and gnashing its terrible teeth and rolling its terrible eyes and showing its terrible claws,” leaving me feeling irritable and as though somehow I have failed.

From lessons I learned last year I am back in self-surveillance mode.  What is there for me to be responsible for?  How have I been being that is out of alignment with who I am at my core.  What worked for me when I was experiencing radiant health and well being that I have let go of recently, leaving me dancing with the creatures that feel like symptoms of my ill health last year and the years before?

So far the biggest change is in my busyness.  Last year was mostly couch time,  hours and hours of quiet with no talking, no doing, no thinking.  Everything that I did was to support my well-being. I landed in a space of radiant health. However, in the past couple of months I have allowed myself to be catapulted into a busyness that leaves little to no down time.  I have been dancing ferociously against the clock and calendar, creating deadlines and projects.  My body has simply been roaring for quiet time and and a schedule that includes rest and relaxation.

where-the-wild-things-are 2

“And [I] sailed back over a year
and in and out of weeks
and through a day
and into the night of [my] very own room
where [I] found [my] supper waiting for [me]
and it is still hot.”

So in the rumpus of this contemplation I burn off the frantic energy of panic and fear and am reminded of the discoveries of last year when I experienced the richness of life in the gap between words and the pause between actions. It’s all as it ever was…perfect, whole and complete.

As much as I enjoy ferocious activity and wild dancing, nothing comes close to the beauty of stillness.  Now to recreate life again, allowing busyness to occur inside a peaceful space.

(Honoring the memory of Maurice Sendak – “Where the Wild Things Are.”)

Published by Lymethriving

Offering free resources for dealing with Lyme disease. Host of free teleconference calls twice per month dealing with emotional/spiritual challenges of chronic illness, with guest speakers who share their expertise and practical advice on how to support healing on a physical and spiritual level.


  • singapore

    May 16, 2012 at 8:09 pm Reply

    Great post. Recuperate and call me if I can do anything for you at all. You seem really centered.

    • Lyme Thriving

      May 16, 2012 at 8:54 pm Reply

      Thanks Jenn. Still in the rumpus dance, but centered. 🙂

  • Ariane

    May 20, 2012 at 3:33 pm Reply

    Wow- I feel like I could have written this!
    Due to carbon monoxide and combustion by-product poisoning, I have many symptoms now that are similar to those I had with Lyme… the first thing that I started wondering as I declined was, what lesson did I not learn then? I felt like I’d failed: failed at being well and failed at being a good enough person to stay well, as if I did not deserve the life I was so completely enjoying. I barely had a year of perfection between recovery from Lyme and getting poisoned.
    I realized that the one thing I hadn’t done after recovering was listen to all the people who asked me to write a book about my healing process. (I recovered from Lyme 100% naturally, which is fairly unusual.) As soon as I decided to write a book about healing- from Lyme, from CO, from whatever- the situation felt brighter for me. I’m so excited to document my recovery (which from these chemicals, like Lyme, is slow and tedious) and to be able to hopefully inspire both Lymies and other ill people. Getting your voice out is so important- hearing someone else say that a return to illness feels like failure strikes such a chord within me.
    Thank you for writing this.

    • Lyme Thriving

      May 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm Reply

      That is so great! I also dealt with Lyme naturally. 🙂 And…I’m also working on a short book which is around all the lessons I have learned and continue to learn. Yes…write and share! I am starting to really feel that to sustain wellness we must be as clean and clear from toxicity as possible…including pharmaceuticals, and tend to our energy and attitude. Haha…yeah, that failure thing comes up fast doesn’t it! I’m feeling really great again, I hope you are doing well.

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